A Focusing Life

I’ve known for a long time that I ought to blog. It’s a great way to keep your name and ideas — not to mention your services — in front of people. But every time I thought about doing it, an inner chorus stood up and shouted their objections:

“Are you nuts?” they wailed. “You write all day long. Now you want to sit down at the computer and write MORE? And without being paid for it?”

“People have too much to read as it is. What makes you think they are going to read your stuff?”

“You don’t have anything to say that hasn’t been already said — and said better.”

And, the most effective objection (although not the loudest – this one doesn’t need to be delivered at anything louder than a whisper to be effective): “Are you sure you want people to know you that well?”

And then I read something by Mark Silver, who has something called The Heart of Business. It’s all about being authentic in business. I’ve subscribed to his emailed articles for years, but have read very few of them. That inner chorus that hates the idea of blogging? It hates the idea of marketing, too … and, it turns out, for similar reasons.

So I read this article. It’s called “Bad-mood marketing.” The title alone was enough to make me take notice. I often feel that my particular brand of authenticity might not be particularly welcome, because … well, because I’m often in a bad mood. (My hero is the Shirley MacLaine character, Ouiser Boudreaux, in 1989’s Steel Magnolias, who at one point growls, “I’ve been in a bad mood since 1971!” It makes me smile just to think of her – a woman after my own heart.)

But here’s Mark Silver, talking about how even a bad mood is useful in marketing. He describes an encounter with a potential client where he acknowledges that he’s actually feeling kind of crappy, and explains why. The client hires him.

The client hired him because he saw something of himself in Mark, just like I saw something of myself in Ouiser Boudreaux – and was grateful for it. Mark writes:

If you read the ocean of blogs and newsletters, there’s a
lot of talk about ‘authenticity.’ And yet the overall tone
is one of everyone being in a perpetual good mood, as if
someone had been sneaking Zoloft into their lattes. Which,
when you’re looking for help and support, can either cheer
you up, or totally piss you off.

Me? I get pissed off. And then depressed. Here’s Mark’s advice:

Bow your head and ask: “What is being asked for? Where am I
being led? What’s truly alive?” If what comes pisses you
off more, say “Yes” to it anyway… and then ask for more
information: “Wow, now I’m even more pissed off. What part
of the message didn’t I hear yet?”

If that isn’t a Focusing approach, I don’t know what is. I read it. Read it again. Checked inside … and the shouting chorus stood down. Just like that.

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